News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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