i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
