I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
