He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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