I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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