porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
