Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
there was a trapeze. enough said
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
