i wish starbucks made bloody marys
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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