East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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