Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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