you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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