Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
