either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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