bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
