Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
