garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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