Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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