I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
