Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
