Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
