People with herpes should wear stickers.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
