I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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