The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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