I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
