ADVERTISEMENT

• (214): View more from Texas

  btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer

  (214): View more from Texas

  i owe you one

  (469): View more from Texas

  thanks for snagging those panties for me

  Fav 9 1639 871

  share tweet
  

• (518): View more from New York

  apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party

  Fav 17 6320 1021

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (770): View more from Georgia

  The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.

  Fav 24 896 4030

  share tweet
  

• (940): View more from Texas

  never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down

  Fav 48 5527 1340

  share tweet
  

• (201): View more from New Jersey

  the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do

  Fav 24 1747 4664

  share tweet
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?

  Fav 4 882 1984

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (519): View more from Ontario

  Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet

  Fav 5 1820 925

  share tweet
  

• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score

  Fav 7 1684 808

  share tweet
  

• (502): View more from Kentucky

  to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary

  Fav 3 1204 641

  share tweet
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.

  Fav 9 1646 692

  share tweet
  

• (416): View more from Toronto

  and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.

  Fav 3 716 886

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.

  Fav 1 438 250

  share tweet
  

• (847): View more from Illinois

  Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.

  Fav 0 36 11

  share tweet
  

• (949): View more from California

  She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.

  Fav 0 69 4

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (402): View more from Nebraska

  so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery

  Fav 0 45 7

  share tweet
  

Randomize