i would punch a child for taco bell
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
