i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
