He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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