He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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