so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
