i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize