He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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