Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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