u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
