We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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