Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
