There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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