I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
