I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
