we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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