somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I need water and some morals
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
