i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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