So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
