somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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