Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
