Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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