I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
