so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
