Where are you?
In a non slutty way
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
