don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
