literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
