No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
