all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize