I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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