Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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