Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
there is puke in my bra ... again
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
