No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
