oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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