a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
