im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Randomize
