Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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