i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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