it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
