so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
