all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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