Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
